Running into the Sun

What would you do if you're really sad,

When it's so bad that you lose the ability to feel.

You want to cry but you cannot,

There are no tears to shed.

You want to rage,

To scream and shout.

To throw your hands around a neck,

Coaxing them to eternal sleep.

You are disabled.

The inability to emphatise.

You cannot feel what they feel,

Nor can you feel what you're meant to.

There is no joy.

The pain you feel subsides and washes away.

The cold and heat affects your body,

Yet you stand disrobed in the snow.

Each morning you open your eyes,

To breathe the air of just another day.

Working through life in the speed of days,

The monotonous repetition of the so-called living.

You dread going to bed,

Afraid of the next day.

Not wanting to awaken,

In the wake where all is dead.

You wonder why you sustain yourself for this.

Would self sacrificing be such selfish deed?

You know that you are depleting the world of its resources.

You hate wasting; but what do you do when you are the waste?

Parts of you continue to rebel,

Trying to gain the upper hand in this war nobody waged.

Your new found optimism is formidable,

But is it enough?

Doubts and questions cloud your mind.

You know not what to do.

You seek advice and help but they avidly avoid you.

There is only one decision to be made.

Stop the persistence and perseverance,

All to be won has king been lost.

There is nothing left to lose,

Where in losing, you can finally win.

There can only be one goodbye...

Erratic Behaviour